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Friday 15 December 2017

Diary of a yummy drummy: A brush with the law

Aoife and I have a brush with the law and help some Guards with their inquiries, says Saoirse O'Brien

Myself and Aoife are total besties at the moment -- we've grown so close that we're even simultaneously scoring two Guards that we met in Copper Face Jacks last Friday night. Donal and Ger are their names.

Basically, we were on the dance floor, throwing some savage shapes to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance, when Aoife thought it would be hilarious to shove me in the back and slam me straight into a guy. I was, OMG, so embarrassed? I was all apologetic but -- get this -- he caught me by the waist and twirled me around, thus preventing me from falling flat on my snot! I felt so light and girlish. Then I had to rest my hands on his chest to regain my balance and there were the pecs! I mean, I almost needed smelling salts, like some delicate lady from Victorian times.

He manfully led me to the bar and Aoife was left sickened on the dance floor, bumping and grinding into thin air. Donal, my guy, bought me a double vodka and Smirnoff Ice in a pint glass and within seconds Aoife was over, the tightarse, to see if she could bag a free drink. And fair play to him, Donal bought her one, too. Anyway, here's the skinny: he's 29 (OMG! Another older man!), he's from Tipperary, and he lives with two friends in Phibsboro. One of the friends being Ger. And, needless to say, Aoife threw herself at him, much to his amusement. But TBH, I don't think he was complaining too much. The four of us went back to their gaff that night and Donal's been sending me really sweet texts ever since. We met up last night and went to the cinema and Aoife came, too, and Donal brought Ger -- but only because I asked him! Ger only texted Aoife once since last Friday. Once, I tell you!

After the cinema, Donal was driving, and he asked me back to his. Ger actually said that he was tired and had a headache!

Morto -- poor Aoifs!

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