Thursday 21 March 2019

Harvard's Jedward bamboozled us all

If TV entertainment was edible, then Breffny Morgan is a large jar of marmite. Love him or loathe him, at water coolers across the country they're all talking about the axed Apprentice candidate this morning.

He's not your average guy -- a debonair and too-perfectly groomed young Cork man with a grating accent and a voice-box programmed to repeat I'm a Harvard graduate at every opportunity.

He's so utterly bizarre that he forced a nation to tune in religiously on Monday nights to find out exactly what the Breffmeister did next.

If Mr Harvard has taught us one thing, it's that there's a world of a difference between intelligence and cop-on.

He's sadly lacking in the latter, but that's exactly why he was TV gold.

He's the Jedward of the Apprentice, with no obvious talent but with a personality that transcends the confines of a TV programme and seeps into popular culture.

He has even been honoured with a Breffmeister fansite on Facebook. Mind you, Breffny being Breffny, nobody would be surprised if it emerged he'd set it up himself.

He's the first Apprentice candidate to truly captivate an audience. Even Mary O'Rourke admitted she found him attractive.

And one suspects the reason he lasted so long is that Bill Cullen was so utterly bamboozled by him.

After all, candidates don't usually freely admit that they didn't contribute on a task. Rarer still is the candidate who makes such an admission and avoids being dragged into the boardroom.

And just when we'd written him off as a clown, he shocked us all with a masterful performance as a project manager on the Cadburys blasta bar task.

The Breffmeister is truly a master of seduction. We all cringed at his committed wooing of inner-city Dubliner Geraldine.

We secretly marvelled at his brass neck in accepting credit for her hard-earned sales in last night's task.

And we grinned as we watched him and Stephen Higgins cultivating the greatest TV bromance since Dumb and Dumber.

Men want to be him, women want to be with him, even though Breffny himself doesn't know whether he's James Bond, Donald Trump or Hugh Hefner. Maybe that's what we find so compelling about the many faces of the Breffmeister.

Like most viewers, I'm sure next week's Apprentice will be a slightly less irritating experience now that Harvard's finest has left the building. Unfortunately, the show will be all the poorer for it.

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