I WAS in the Splash Zone. It says so on the blue towel inside my goodie bag. Right next to the official tour programme and a personally signed picture of Kylie Ann Minogue.
Oh, and did I mention the rain poncho? Comes in handy, that one. A great way to keep dry at festivals, but also useful when one finds themselves standing in a Splash Zone. Which is where I was. Last night. Less than 10ft away from one of the most famous pop stars on the planet.
And how about those flying angels of hers, eh? Or the whole ancient Greece setting? Or the daring, dazzling, and often baffling costumes designed by Dolce and Gabbana?
Indeed, an evening with the Aussie singer is an experience that will leave your head spinning. Quite literally if you happened to have forked out the cash for the aforementioned Splash Pack. Which, incidentally, goes something like this: “Look! She's coming over this way in a gold dress on a gold carriage – everyone move! But wait! What are the acrobats/dancers/ gladiators up to behind us? Everyone turn back! Now she's above us – eyes in the sky, people!”
Yep, it's quite exhausting trying to keep up with what's going on. But it's all part of what might just be the most meticulously designed arena show ever.
Apparently, it cost ¤25m to put together…and seems to be worth every cent from the looks of things. Sure, it's a little over-thetop, but isn't that what we've come to expect from mega-selling pop queens?
The people who came to see this most beguiling of stage performers want it all – and they aren't disappointed.
A glitzy wardrobe (which, at one point, features what looks like a dress made of tinfoil), half-naked dancers, stunning choreography and lighting, flashy props, lots and lots of water — the list goes on.
There's a large male following in the house – Kylie (42) is, after all, a huge gay icon – but the women are out in full force, too.
That the music somewhat takes a back seat is no surprise, but that isn't to say there aren't some absolute belters in this hit-laden set.
A rocked-up Can't Get You Out of My Head stands out, as does the wonderfully effective Confide In Me.
She's a terrific singer and a classy entertainer; a charming and often sexy performer who never feels the need to shed her clothes in order to prove what she's worth.
Granted, there are parts of tonight's show that are more than a bit raunchy, and those denim hot pants and heels near the end certainly pleased some of the lads in attendance, but as pretentious as it all may look and sound, it's still one hell of a production, and a thoroughly sophisticated one at that.
Things get a little more engaging and spontaneous as the night progresses, with Kylie and her gang of dancers loosening up to ensure a vibrant and atmospheric second half.
Better The Devil You Know keeps the party going, and there's even room for a meet and greet with one lucky fan from Brazil.
So what about this splashing, then? Well, perhaps the poncho wasn't quite necessary but, in the end, a giant water fountain emerges for All The Lovers and things get a little wet on the floor.
Tremendous fun, though, and a superb finale to a spectacular show.