herald

Friday 15 December 2017

All about my mother: Moving and babies

Emer O'Brien dodges baby talk in a new home

Nama ... recession ... Yes it's the wrong time to be buying houses, but I failed to mention that myself and Dave recently took the plunge and did just that.

We're glad to be out of our previous abode, a postage-stamp wannabe. The downside is that our budget means we are now living a bit nearer to my mother. I've mentioned the random drive-bys that used to happen when I lived in town. Now, I bet they'll happen at least once a week.

"So how're you settling in?"

My mother has arrived while I'm unpacking boxes and trying to find cups. If she thinks I'll be able to find the biscuits, she'll be lucky.

"Grand. Can't find anything. And I keep tripping over the same box."

"Well, you never were the quickest off the mark when it came to cleaning your room."

"Ho ho."

"Of course, you'll need to put up some shelves."

"I know."

"And it wouldn't be a bad idea to get a skip."

"Gonna do that, too."

She is drifting around the sitting room, randomly nosing into boxes and bin liners.

"What are you doing with all these books? If I was you, I'd ditch them. Your father could run you down to the charity shop down the road."

"I like my books."

I remembered that she has relegated all the books in my parents' house to one cupboard for fear they'll mess up the symmetry in their sitting room.

"Of course, now that you have all this room ... "

I know exactly where this conversation is going.

"You can get a decent-sized kitchen table and invite us around for dinner."

Phew. I thought she was going to start hassling me about babies there for a minute ...

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