7 Days in the life of: Nell MaCafferty
Cowardly radio producers stop me from baring my soul, yet again
Sunday Contraception, women's rights, clerical abuse, my own nudity: I've never been afraid to say what's on my mind. As long as it's off air.
Sunday: Crisis management meeting at Newstalk HQ. I don't even know why I was asked; it's got absolutely nothing to do with me.
Tuesday: I had to keep it zipped at yesterday's meeting, which is wildly unfair. So, I put on my headphones and listened to Cheryl Cole's new album. She's a great role model for young feminists, that one.
Wednesday: My phone's been busy, ringing with producers from radio stations cancelling my appearances for the rest of the week. Cowards.
Sunday: Now a TV appearance has just been cancelled. But I'm writing another volume of my memoirs, so I've lots to talk about. Did I mention that I went out with Nuala O'Faolain? Back in the days when a 'lesbian' to most Irish people was a fruity drink you'd get on your holidays.
Friday: I feel the urge to divest myself of clothes -- if God wanted us to wear them, She'd have them on us in the womb! Maybe on stage this time, instead of on canvas? It'll be "theatrical Viagra." Guaranteed a man wrote that.
Saturday: Get down to work on volume VIII of my memoirs. This one is called: My First Kiss. A Decisive Moment in any Girl's Life.
Or this is how it would be if we were Nell...