Monday 11 December 2017

25 ways to survive Good Friday

Ryan Tubridy

It’s Good Friday this week. Yeah, we know – if ever there was a reminder that Ireland had yet to fully escape the dark ages, it’s in the 24-hour shut-down of our country’s pubs, nightclubs and off-licences on the most enjoyable long weekend of the year. It sucks, right? Well, no. It doesn’t have to.

We’re not going to allow an “old-fashioned, draconian law” (the Lord Mayor Christy Burke’s words, not ours) completely spoil our fun this Easter, are we? Of course not. And besides, we don’t have to have a drink - there are plenty of other ways we can enjoy ourselves this Friday, April 3rd. Luckily, there are also plenty of other ways to ensure that the, uh, more honest among us get to sample an auld tipple or two, even when the law says we can’t.

Try our Good Friday survival guide on for size – it might get you somewhere. It might even lead to the greatest Holy Holiday of your life. Best of luck, party people…


1. You’re allowed to drink in the air and/or on sea on Good Friday
Now, before you go thinking about pulling a Wright Brothers out the back garden, just remember that you could always jump in a cab and head straight for the airport. There may even be a bar open before you board your flight. That’s right, you gotta fly somewhere – in for a penny, in for a pound. 

Dublin airport

Dublin Airport
Sure, it’ll be one of the more extravagant sessions you’ve ever indulged in, but it’ll be fun, too. Trust us. Just don’t forget your wallet.

2. Hop aboard a ferry
Same rules apply. Only, prepare for choppy waters. Might be easier to find a barge – less of a chance of someone getting seasick.

3. Take a tour of our city’s train stations 
Hey, if it’s good enough for Bishop Michael Burrows – who, would you believe, will be visiting 15 different railway stations across Ireland this Friday - then it’s good enough for us. Though, we’ll admit, our intentions aren’t quite as pure as Burrows’, whose goal is to deliver individual reflections to the good people in his Diocese. Ah, see we heard you can get a drink on the train, and all you need is a ticket. Now, do they still have a bar down in Heuston? ‘The Galway Hooker’, we believe it was called…

4. Go to Mass
They always have wine there (yes, this list really is turning into a places-to-find-booze hunt).

5. No, seriously.

6. Spot the sober hen/stag
Grab a coffee.  Then, take a seat outside in Temple Bar and entertain yourself with a game of ‘Spot the Sober Stag/Hen Party’. We’re talking about the tourists here. We suggest heading on down around midday, too. That way, you’ll be early enough to catch the lost and confused packs of party hopefuls as they try to figure out what happened to Ireland and why everywhere is closed.

You may even be lucky enough to see the look of horror on the best man / bridesmaid’s face when it suddenly dawns on them that, oh yes, for the next 12 hours, Dublin is in a complete state of lockdown. Bummer. Spare a thought for the poor, uninitiated saps. And then giggle.

7. Wedded miss
Set up a Twitter profile and/or Facebook page for the aforementioned unlucky-in-Ireland wedding parties. Spread the word, like, and make sure this never, ever happens again.

8. Do something useful in Temple Bar that doesn't involve booze 
They’re showing Blade Runner: The Final Cut in the IFI. Maybe visit one of the restaurants that don’t charge a bloody fortune for dinner. Make the most of the place before it goes bonkers again, basically.

9. Go to the flicks


Speaking of movies, your local multiplex will be heaving. Might we suggest booking tickets for Fast & Furious 7? There’ll be a great atmosphere for that one. And don’t forget to buy all the popcorn and sweets, to make up for the pints you won’t be having tonight.

10. Throw a party
At home, we mean. What, too stressful? Yeah, but it’ll be deadly, and everyone will help you clean up tomorrow. We promise.

11. Forget the party
 Have a bit of fun preparing your smug ‘hangover-free’ face for Saturday morning, when you pop out for a bit of brunch. It’s an option.

12. Plan ahead
Go nuts and prepare your entire Saturday in advance. An actual itinerary, for a change. Museums, walks, tours, films, music, celebratory pint if you manage to fit all or even one of the above in – it’s another option, folks.

13. Telly be damned
Put away the list and watch The Late Late Show.

Ryan Tubridy

14. Just kidding.
Get the cans in.

15. Be prepared
We hope you got the cans in on Thursday. If this weather ever lets up, you could even sit out the back and pretend it’s summer (because you’re too old to go drinking in the park / down by the canal).

16. Never mind
We knew you’d forget to visit the off-licence before 10pm last night. Eejits.

17. Catch up on the shows you've been meaning to watch 
Stick the kettle on, grab a blanket and start a new series on Netflix. Think about it. You’ve got the entire day to watch enough subscription-based television to ensure you never again feel left out of the conversation next time someone at work mentions Frank Underwood or Walter White. Might we suggest getting on down with the Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, while you’re at it? It’s Tina Fey’s new sitcom, and it’s kinda funny. There are only 13 episodes – you’ll be done in no time. And, you’ll be ahead of the curve.

18. Easter us up
Open the Easter eggs early. We spotted a few on the high shelf in the cloakroom. Just take out the bars and sweets in the plastic bit underneath – that way, your housemate / partner / parents / siblings will be none the wiser until Sunday. And sure that’s ages away.

19. Go stay in a hotel
Hotel bar, like. Sorted (but you might have to order dinner with it).

20. Go clubbing
Find a nightclub that opens after midnight and head along completely sober. It looks different like this, doesn’t it? Now, spread the word (again) and avoid nightclubs forever. You’ll save loads. A life-changing exercise, this one…

21. Go to Mass.

22. We’re still joking.

23. Get to the dance hall
Head along to the BD Festival in Glendalough House, Co Wicklow (it used to be ‘Barn Dance’). It’s totally BYOB, and Jape, The Academic and the Hot Sprockets are playing. Yes, we know the tickets are €60, and it’s like, an hour down the road, but it could be a night to remember. Pop on over to www.bdfestival.ie just in case.

24. Head to Donegal
There’s a woman up in Donegal who has just opened an inflatable pub and…okay, okay. Donegal is too far…unless you fly there! In which case, the beers are on us. Until we get to the inflatable pub, that is (it’s a real thing – Google it).

25. Find time to suffer 
Rent Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ. Now, this right here is the reason we’re all sitting in on a Friday night. Jesus (if you’ll pardon the pun), it’s rough. Enjoy.

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