herald

Saturday 1 October 2016

Why kiss a beard? It feels like pushing your face against a Brillo Pad

Graham Norton
Graham Norton

I think beards to men are what spray tans are to women.

They can hide a multitude, distract from what is underneath and they are always more attractive to the person who is wearing them.

I haven't kissed a beard in a long time. (I can't think of a joke there but am sure there is one!).

But before my gay days, I do remember that feeling of pushing my face against a Brillo Padded head.

It was rough, unpleasant and left that unattractive rash around the mouth.

So the phenomenon of beards leaves me with mixed feelings. I feel sorry for the ladies and gentlemen of the land who have to rub cheeks with the burly males. But some must like it - otherwise why would they put up with it?

Then I always wonder what makes a man reach a decision to grow one.

tradition

I know why Graham Norton grew one. He is in love - with a man with a beard. There is an age old tradition that gay men with beards go out with men with beards. Then they become bears (that's a beard without the 'd').

I'm only kidding, but its true that people in relationships mirror each other.

Who hasn't seen middle-aged couples wearing the same coloured and style of rain jacket as they go for their Sunday walk?

I myself have been known to become drawn to the style of a partner. I once got into wearing a certain type of mountain walking sandal 'cos she wore them.

I know - one of my many regrets in life!

Well Graham is in love and he now has a beard, which actually suits him.

The beauty of a beard is that when someone shaves it off, everyone cries "You look 10 years younger".

Happy days all round for Mr Norton.

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