After 20 years of high-flying success, it's time for Ryanair CEO Michael O'Leary to leave his present aviation job and assume his real vocation in life. This realisation dawned upon me when I watched his performance recently on BBC Breakfast TV in the now infamous 'Pay-to-Pee' interview. It was immediately clear to me -- this man should be on a stage somewhere.

What would it cost to buy a full minute's advertising at prime time on television, I wondered as O'Leary positioned himself in the car park of his head office at Dublin Airport, so that the Ryanair company logo on the roof could be seen in shot. Probably more than a return flight from Dublin to Hahn (near Frankfurt) or Torp (near Oslo), and quite a lot more than a wee on the plane.

Audacious

Having followed O'Leary antics for the past three years in order to write two books about his operation, I found his appearance exceptional in its audacity, even by his standards. The car park was half empty -- the message was, Ryanair staff do not have to arrive at work as early as their boss.

His was a typical PR stunt, yet the media fell for it, as it does, every time. But to set up this canard he wore a particularly cheap and nasty brown coat with the collar turned up, complete with awful scarf, as if to emphasise the overall cheapness of his airline. My only surprise was that he did not wear another of his fancy dress costumes or turn up dressed as a hairy lavatory brush.

In Ireland we know O'Leary too well so we just laugh at him. What we don't do is, as BBC News 24 did, run his manufactured stories every hour. Nor do we read out texts from viewers which become more ludicrous by the hour, such as the text accusing him of discriminating against elderly people because they have "reduced bladder capacity".

And every time a presenter read out a comment, the screen behind showed a Boeing 737-800 in the Ryanair livery. And every time Ryanair appears on TV screens, bookings for flights increase in exactly the same way that bookings on easyJet increase when ITV shows Airline.

I knew it was a joke when he first uttered the "loo fares" soundbite with a wry grin. Sure enough last week O'Leary spoke at a Dublin tourism conference and confirmed it was all a public relations stunt. "It is not likely to happen, but it makes for interesting and very cheap PR." But it was mission achieved with free media coverage once again, from Dublin to new York, from Bydgoszcz to Brno. Even my opinionated opinion falls for the same joke from O'Leary but on this occasion at least I get to share a little of the publicity.

Comedians

O'Leary does not have a team of scriptwriters and he writes almost all of his own material. And in case you think O'Leary cannot ad lib like the best of comedians -- think again. I watched him in action when the last Ryanair annual general meeting was gatecrashed by a topless male environmental protester. As the man departed O'Leary called after him, "Next year send a topless female protester -- I'd much rather have an environmental debate with a topless female." O'Leary is introduced at every AGM with the words, "Now for the Michael O'Leary Show." I wonder.

He's already done everything he can for the low fares airline industry by inventing and then increasing every discretionary charge known to man. Ryanair says it will never charge passengers a fuel surcharge -- why would it when it has so many other charges which it can increase? Imagine if you went into Tesco and were charged five euros to use a credit card. You'd walk out.

And his customer service leads the industry -- don't take my word for it, ask O'Leary. Or ask anyone who's been left in a regional Polish airport at midnight in November in a foot of snow.

His airline loses the least baggage (because we cannot afford to check it in any longer), his airline is the most punctual (because it waits for no one) and his airline replies to all complaints in writing in a speedy seven days (because of all the practice it gets in dealing with complaints).

So it's time for the retiring O'Leary to ditch the dull aviation job and finally book a 10-night run at a city comedy club. Certainly the drinks and snacks will be expensive and there will be a mad rush for the best unassigned seats at the front.

I for one will be happy to pay whatever ticket price O'Leary decides, plus of course I will continue to pay those nasty taxes, fees and charges, to see him become Ireland's greatest stand-up comedian.

Paul Kilduff's latest book, Ruinairski - More Bloody Cheap Flights Eastwards With Mick, is in shops this Friday

- Paul Kilduff