A date? The last date I had was of the fruit kind. It was so long ago now I can't remember when it was exactly. Single mothers don't have time for dates.

They don't have hours to get ready, money for the hairdresser, the babysitter, the taxi home and the energy to stay up late.

It costs a small fortune to go on a date when that money could go on clothes or toys for the kids.

I don't date at all. I honestly couldn't even pinpoint the last time I kissed somebody. As a doting mother of a toddler, I don't bring people home to stay the night and neither do I spend the night in anybody else's place. All the dates I enjoy these days are play dates in the park with lively two-year-olds. Do I feel I'm missing out? Not in the slightest.

I was persuaded to go out on a date with a friend of a friend last year. I had never met this guy but was assured he was perfect for me. The date was stressful enough.

The guy sat on his hands for two hours so determined was he not to buy me a drink. He kept telling me it must be very hard to be me with all my baggage.

Well, what some people might deem as baggage, I consider the love of my life. I would die for that piece of baggage. That baggage has made me the happiest woman alive. I told this to my uninterested date as his eyes glazed over with boredom.

Then he asked me for his bus fare home. After that I swore I wouldn't accept another blind date. Ever.

It's funny when you think about it. I am a romance writer with no romance in my life. I write about heroes and I'm eternally single. I sell a dream yet my reality is man-free.

But the stakes are so much higher when you have a child. You are reluctant to invest emotionally in a man if you're a single mother. Life is tough enough without stressing over whether somebody will call or not. And anyway there isn't time to be waiting by the phone or discussing the relationship or lack of it with girlfriends over bottles of wine.

When you're raising a kid by yourself, you have to be organised with military precision. I have a stack of films that I'm dying to see if only I could get Bob the Builder out of the DVD player.

I have party dresses that I bought pre-pregnancy that I can no longer fit into even if I was invited somewhere. I have killer sandals that are not compatible with pushing a pram, and my once-trendy apartment is cluttered with Lego and has crayon marks on the walls.

Single mothers do not have the luxury of spontaneity that lovers enjoy. There can be no romantic walks à deux, no last-minute flights to Paris and grandparents must have at least a fortnight's babysitting notice before even arranging to meet somebody for an evening drink.

The single mothers I know are practical, strong, hard-working, loving and don't play mind games. Time wasters need not apply.

Marisa is the author of Along Came A Stork.

- Marisa Mackle