Herald

Thursday, February 09 2012

Con Houlihan

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Con Houlihan: Twists

As a small boy I couldn't believe in the Ice Age. It was hard to imagine that there was no life in this island. And now it seems that I was right. The remains of a small boat found in the Shannon Estuary about 15 years ago caused the scientists to revise their beliefs radically. It delighted me that sometimes the romantics are right.

Con Houlihan: Making a great impression

It is as if it happened this afternoon. And you would feel the same: it was my debut as a writer on television and as the hour approached it made me sick with apprehension -- it might go well or it might be a total disaster.

Con Houlihan: Bogged down in turf war

SAVING CULTURE: Minister Jimmy Deenihan says that he will back the turf cutters

During the winter of 1939, it became clear to many households that for the coming year they would have to supply their own fuel. For many, it was a daunting task. The man of the house had to acquire an array of implements -- a hay-knife, a spade, a slean and three pikes, known elsewhere as forks -- and he had to acquire wisdom and skill.

Con Houlihan: Stirring tales of the Old West

Most of my generation began our serious reading when we entered the upper classes in primary school. We began with books about the Old West that we borrowed from the library and we swapped Western magazines. This was a great foundation: the plots may have been romantic and dramatic, but most of the writing was good.

Con Houlihan: Why I'm a master bogman

If you last to tell your life story, how would you go about it? Would you be determined to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Most people don't. Perhaps Jean-Jacques Rousseau's Confessions is an exception. He reveals moments of humiliation he needn't have.

Con Houlihan: The back pages of village life

CONTRIBUTORS: Late playwright John B Keane and his wife Mary

In a previous incarnation, I was the proud editor of a magazine called The Taxpayers' News. It was published in my home town Castle Island, Co Kerry. It hasn't a very romantic title and in its pages you might come across an article headed "How To Make Good Concrete Blocks".

Con Houlihan: Spud is still top of the crops

MAKING A MEAL OF IT: The potato has served us well

Nobody knows who brought the potato to Ireland. Walter Raleigh is credited with bringing tobacco to these islands but you could buy it on Bristol docks long before he went to America.

Con Houlihan: Spare us from nuclear power

The air is as alive with snippets of wisdom as it was with arrows during the battle of The Little Big Horn. We are told that we should quit the EU and that the International Monetary Fund should be told to forget the money we owe them.

Con Houlihan: Can Enda be a new saviour?

Enda Kenny has a big mess to clean up during his term of office as Taoiseach

Enda Kenny is a decent and intelligent man. He is left to clean up a mess perpetrated by other decent and intelligent men. Their mistake was that they didn't consult other decent and intelligent men who were far wiser and better qualified than they. It had long been suspected that the advice of top civil servants was ignored; it is out in the open now.

Con Houlihan: Smoke out some real reform

Every man and woman and child is convinced that he or she could make a better hand of running the Republic than whoever is charged to do so. But if you were put to outlay practical dreams, you might be fumbling for a place to start.

Con Houlihan: You need a way with words

Some words change their meaning, often for the better, sometimes for the worse. "Cowboy" is an example: in the old days it signified a man of exceptional courage, skill and wisdom. Now it refers to a builder who does dodgy work, overcharges and disappears.

Con Houlihan: High noon of cowboy heroes

Tom Mix, Johnny Mack Brown and Buck Jones were the heroes of my childhood. People thought of them as cowboys but they weren't cowboys at all.

Con Houlihan: Divided by flour and fuel

Food and fuel were the main topics of conversation in Ireland in the autumn of 1939. Food was more urgent. There were people alive whose parents remembered The Great Hunger. The government did its best: it obliged all farmers to cultivate some of their land and sow wheat.

Con Houlihan: Avoiding a spell of trouble

WINNING WORDS: Glee star Diana Agron took part in a celeb version of the Spelling Bee last year for charity

When I was a young lad growing up in Kerry, there was an extraordinary attitude towards spelling: bad spelling was deemed a mark of bad breeding. Why this was so I couldn't understand, nor do I still.

Con Houlihan: How to make a mark in print

At the age of about 25 I decided to quit formal teaching and on a momentous evening in a pub in Ballinhassig told my principal; when he recovered from the shock we parted in a haze of goodwill.

Con Houlihan: The moorland, the merrier

In the middle of the great moorland that stretches from a few miles north of Castle Island to within a few miles of Listowel, there is a building that once was Renagown National School. On the first day while working there, it seemed I would go mad, as I was competing with about 30 voices.

Con Houlihan: The Proof of the pudding . . .

A s we were coming away from the All- Ireland Football Final in 1975, a veteran from down below at home said to me: "You can't bate the spuds and the bacon and cabbage." I said, "of course", but it made me think of other delicacies and I was tempted to add black pudding.

Con Houlihan: Spreading the love of butter

The Cossacks are credited with inventing butter but in this context inventing is hardly the right word: the sewing machine was invented -- butter was found. Those hardy horsemen lived mainly on meat and milk and when they set out in the morning to go hunting or whatever, they always carried a quantity of milk in a round leather bag.

Con Houlihan: The State pillars are crumbling

Fraught is a word we sometimes use without being sure of its meaning: there was an occasion, however, when its meaning couldn't be in any possible doubt. It was March 9, 80 years ago: there was a mighty crowd assembled in Kildare Street, because the outgoing Government was about to hand over power to Fianna Fail.

Con Houlihan: A land crying out for reform

VOTE CHANGE: Julia Gillard, PM of Australia, where everyone's obliged to vote

Irrespective of who wins the election, they will be faced with major tasks. One task is to reform our way of voting. The electors' list should be brought up to date so that everyone who is alive should be on it and that everyone who has gone away should be off it. It is easy to commit electoral fraud, especially now when so many people are living on estates and do not know their own neighbours.

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