When Ryanair CEO Michael O'Leary famously quipped about providing "beds and blowjobs" on business class flights, we all smiled indulgently. It was just another crude, off-the-cuff remark from a man who takes his oxygen from publicity.

Alas, with The Girls of Ryanair calendar 2009 about to hit the shelves, I'm not convinced that Mr O'Leary was joking.

Yes, the airline that brought us cut-price flying with cut-price service is once again up to its publicity tricks. And if last year's calendar pictures are any indication, now might be an ideal time to fasten your seatbelt.

The 2008 shots had Miss January in the cockpit (no pun intended); Miss April providing a safety demonstration with a difference and Miss June looking desperately uncomfortable atop a suitcase.

This year's flock of European beauties are equally scantily clad, armed with engine oil and posing by control towers.

Clearly the brains behind this operation haven't learned anything about the subtleties of seduction or the importance of style.

Instead, barely there bikinis and the tackiest poses possible are expected to send men into a frenzy of excitement, forking out €10 for the pleasure.

And no, I'm not fooled by that well-worn excuse that it's all for charity. If Ryanair and its executives were so interested in assisting worthy causes such as the Simon Community, they could just as easily raise the money by dipping in the company pockets. Instead, they'd prefer to dip into the consumers' pockets, taking money from the same idiots who are charged for the pleasure of being transported to its selection of rural airports with their luggage intact.

Show me an organisation that really wants to make a selfless contribution to charity and I'll show you a Ryanair flight ticket without any ridiculous add-ons.

I used to feel sorry for hard-working flight attendants who faced constant jokes about trolley dollies and the mile-high club. Looking at Ryanair's latest masterpiece, my sympathy is rapidly evaporating.

The low-cost airline has always paraded a selection of stunning women up and down its aisles. Some of them even managed to look gorgeous despite the horrendous blue uniform.

The sad thing is that they've allowed their beauty to be hijacked and distorted in a cheap and crude calendar. It may be all for "charidee", but that doesn't make it any more appealing.

Ryanair has never shirked from its self-imposed duty to shock and thrill us all in equal measure, so I'm waiting worriedly for its next trick.

Why don't they just let their staff parade up and down the aisles of its airplanes in these bikinis? It would save on uniform costs. For any red-blooded male, it should surely distract them from the fact that they face a lengthy journey to get to their destination city once they arrive in one of Ryanair's "secluded" hubs.

As for the female passengers, well there's nothing like a good bitching session about cellulite to pass the time.

- --AOIFE FINNERAN