WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR PELVIC FLOOR IS ON THE FLOOR
I like to think I'm a woman of the world but Maggie put paid to that notion. "You can barely use your smart phone," she said to me in the coffee shop last week.
"I can make and receive calls and, when I need to, I can look up the interweb," I replied.
That wasn't enough for her. "You gotta start using technology properly. You haven't even got an app on your phone," she snorted with disgust.
Not true. I actually have a pedometer app. Granted, I've never switched it on but then you don't want to wear these things out!
"So what's new on the technology front," I asked her by way of pretending that I was actually interested.
"Glad you asked because this is something that concerns us all," she said, beckoning the three of us to come closer.
We bent our heads as she cased the joint by surreptitiously looking over her shoulder. It was Maggie at her dramatic best.
"KGoal," she said. We stared at her blankly.
"I knew you lot wouldn't have heard of it. Good job ye hang around with me so I can keep ye up to date." There was another silence and then she held her hands up and said," Okay, okay it's a training device for your nellie."
"Training for what?" Patsy wanted to know. "Synchronised swimming in the nellie Olympics?"
Maggie rolled her eyes. "No, so you can find out what your clench strength is," she said. Sometimes, when I'm out for coffee with my friends, I feel like I'm in an extended episode of The Royle Family. This was one of those times.
It turned out that what Maggie was giving us the nod and wink on is the KGoal Smart Kegel Trainer - a device to strengthen and tighten a pelvic floor when same floor is now in the basement.
The KGoal is a squeezy, silicone pillow which has been designed to fit into nellies of all sizes.
The device is connected to an app on a smartphone by bluetooth, which then sends messages to your phone about the condition of your pelvic floor.
The makers, Minna Life, a US-based company, developed the KGoal because a lot of women cannot see or feel the benefits of pelvic floor exercises so they give up too soon.
I wanted to know if Maggie would be first in the queue for a KGoal trainer when they come on the market.
"No need," she replied. "Sure, I could crush walnuts with mine."
There is no answer to that.