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Friday 20 October 2017

What Katie did Next: In which I consider the perfect pairing

katie
katie

My mother has developed a pecu liar fascination with George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin, or "Amul Aladdin" as she calls her.

(My mother is malapropism-prone and recently told me about an online dating site "that people use for sex" called All the Fish in the Sea, but that's another story for another time...)

"Who introduced them?" she asked me the other day. "Do you reckon they'll go into politics?" she enquired last week. It's fairly safe to conclude that she has invested more interest in the courtship of George and Amal than any of my nascent relationships.

And I can understand why. When two people in full command of themselves come together, they create what can only be described as a force of nature.

Their partnerships seem divine, almost celestial, and every choice they make becomes compelling. It helps that they tend to be mesmerisingly beautiful, too - no wonder it brings out the voyeur in all of us.

I generally avoid celebrity gossip, but every so often I become intrigued by one of these seemingly perfect pairings. Some from different eras - Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton ("Maybe we loved each other too much") or Fleetwood Mac's Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham. Others from today - Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter; Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.

Sometimes I hark back to couples that once were. I often Google photographs of Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel just to remind myself what raw passion looks like.

Then there's Erykah Badu's relationship with André 3000 of OutKast. I'm totally convinced that Ms Badu was an Egyptian queen in a previous life - perhaps even Nefertiti - so the partners she chooses (and the transformative power she wields) makes for endlessly fascinating conversation.

"Can you imagine them having sex?" my friend asked when we discussed this particular coupling last week. "They'd be moonbeams and rainbows," he continued.

"Oh, it would distort the time-space continuum," I agreed.

"I'd watch them have sex," my friend added.

"I'd buy a ticket to watch them have sex," I concurred.

"Are they still on speaking terms?" another friend asked.

"They probably just use telepathy," I offered.

Yes, these relationships bring out the voyeur in all of us. And the inner creep in some of us - I backed out of the conversation before I gave the impression that I was a member of an amateur dogging society.

And still I watch them from afar, if only because these unions give me hope and make me believe in love, destiny, fate and whatever you're having yourself.

They help me understand the phrase "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts", probably because these people were two whole units when they came together, rather than two people desperately seeking another half.

At this point I should add that I've never met any of these celebrity couples. If I did I'd probably kneel in supplication and say something along the lines of 'I'm not worthy!'

But I know their kind and I've seen them in supermarkets just as I've seen them on the pages of glossy magazines.

Some couples make me feel claustrophobic, but this breed makes me feel light and airy and free. They have shared roots but they have also given each other space to grow. They are quite simply a delight to be around.

The hallmarks are mutual respect (which only comes from self-respect), quiet confidence and a look of blissful contentment. It's a far cry from the vast majority of relationships that are built on the bedrock of co-dependency, control and, crucially, fear. Wonder couples, on the other hand, tend to have mastered themselves before they come together.

Ergo they have more time to just enjoy one another. I've observed the rapt, reverential attention they pay when their partner opens their mouth to speak. I know a very special couple and on a recent holiday I noticed the way his ears pricked when she enunciated even a syllable from the other side of the room. Yes, I much prefer the couples that are immersed in each other intellectually rather than physically. Perhaps people take offence to PDAs because, unconsciously, they just aren't convinced.

And perhaps we are instantly convinced and captivated by these wonder couples because we can unconsciously detect something sacred. Call it what you want: soul mates, twin flames, divine partners… there is something special about these unions.

Well, that's my excuse for forensically Googling Amal Alamuddin's outfit choices...

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