herald

Tuesday 19 September 2017

I'll drink to a pint on Fridays, but show some pub etiquette...

It's all very well to rail against the vagaries of the nanny state, what with children being told they can't run around in playgrounds because of the fear of insurance claims and all manner of right-on idiocies set in train by the obliterated, unlamented Greens, but there are times when you'd have to wonder whether we deserve to be allowed to do things for ourselves.

In a week when Roisin Shortall's proposal to increase the price of drink in order to prevent young people going ga-ga on the stuff was quite rightly derided by commentators and retailers alike, along comes an initiative to get people to go to the pub after work of a Friday. Huh?

Now, I'm aware that a generation has grown up spending an unhealthy amount of time on Facecloth and similar new-fangled fripperies but surely they haven't been zombified to the extent that they need a bloody campaign to suggest that heading for a few swifties after a week's work is done might be a good idea.

For many, this will be one of those rare occasions where they actually get to meet and converse with actual people rather than indulge in online 'friendships', but I guarantee that at the first of these organised events next Friday half the people will spend most of the night tapping away at their phones like stoned woodpeckers.

That Irish people have to be encouraged to head to the boozer is shocking enough, but while the organisers of this campaign are at it they should perhaps teach these hipster types, with their skinny jeans and Hitler Youth haircuts, the basics of pub etiquette.

I was reminded of a shocking lack of basic pub manners last Friday night when a well-known pub in town appeared to be absolutely packed around 5.30pm.

However, it turned out that there was bags of room in the place but a group of braying, besuited tossers had decided to park themselves right up against the front door, giving the impression that the pub was full.

You'd have to ask yourself just what class of clown would deliberately stand with his back to the front door of a pub in town on a Friday teatime when there were empty tables dotted around the bar and plenty of standing room along the bar itself.

Obviously,not the type who needs to be prompted to go for a few, but if that's what ostensibly more 'mature' drinkers are capable of then God help us all when the amateurs are let loose.

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