Well, what's so brilliant about being positive? Why remain upbeat and perky? Really, the only way to go is down. Shouldn't we just be realistic and prepare for the worst? At least that way you can never be disappointed, or let down, or broken-hearted.

Ariel Leve is a born-pessimist and award-winning journalist who sees the bad in everything. So what if you've been dumped or lost your job, things could be a lot worse you know -- you could be her!

The Cassandra Chronicles is a collection of her hilarious self-pitying and award-winning columns from The Sunday Times. Fan and comedian Joan Rivers said of New York-born Leve and her book: "Ariel Leve is the love child of David Sedaris and Fran Lebowitz. An original and funny voice, she's insightful and sharp. This is a very funny book."

Leve (41), who also writes for Vogue and The Guardian from her Manhattan base, is a serial dater, and takes a wry look at life as a modern woman.

For example, while the rest of us relax on holiday, Leve sits there thinking; "What have I got to look forward to now?"

As an only child whose parents divorced when she was five, this writer says of having a father who is an optimist: "All of this optimism, it can't be healthy. His refusal to look on the dark side means every day is filled with one positive thought after another. It's difficult to be around all the time."

Here are some of Leve's other thought-provoking and witty insights from the new version of The Cassandra Chronicles.

On Facebook

"In real life, my friends are uninterested and distracted. But in cyber life people are very excited (!!!) about everything!!! The levels of emotion are off the charts. Everyone is so effusive. And curious. People I've never met before and have no interest in meeting are asking me questions about what I think and how I feel. My new fake friends have raised the bar."

On Weddings

"It's one thing to be happy; it's another to force others to share it with you. Whoever invented the wedding reception didn't understand this. People always say that they want their wedding reception to be just like a really fun party, but it never is. They lie to themselves and to their friends because they don't want to face the truth; eight hours of family in one room.

"The best thing about a party is that you can leave at any time. But at wedding receptions there's a four-hour minimum. Good luck telling the bride you're leaving before the cake. She'll look at you like you've just said the groom has herpes."

On Complaining

"There is a pastor in Missouri who has challenged his flock to give up whining for three weeks. Three weeks without a single complaint? That's like three weeks without oxygen.

"I don't see the point. Complaining is natural. It's something that brings people together. Catholics, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, what is the common denominator? They all whinge. Even a Buddhist must give into temptation sometimes. Chances are, there's a monk right now whispering to his friend: 'This rice is too sticky.'

On Couples

"I've been around a lot of couples lately. And you know what I've noticed? Being in a relationship is like having a fulltime publicist. You don't have to feel embarrassed with listing your accomplishments, because the other person will do it for you. It's devotion you can't buy.

"I was at a wedding seated at a table of couples. When the 'What do you do?' question was raised, one of them would answer demurely and then their spouse would jump in and list their accomplishments. For instance, one man announced he was a director and his wife interrupted: 'His short film has just won at Cannes. It was brilliant.' It's always brilliant."

On Texting

"I'll never send sexy texts because I like people to lower their expectations of me, not raise them. I don't do sexy emails either. Reading someone's emailed sex talk is like reading poorly written erotica. If there's going to be any sex talk at all, it has to be over the phone. That way, when I'm not listening, nobody knows."

On Internet Dating

"What's wrong with internet dating? Who wouldn't prefer to sit alone in a bathrobe, trawling through misleading photos, pretending to be charming in emails? I bet web dating got too easy.

Maybe people are nostalgic for blind dates and getting dressed up, having no idea what your date will look like and being totally let down and forced to sit through dinner for two hours. Maybe they miss the old-fashioned disappointment."

On Finding Love

"'You're nobody 'til somebody loves you.' This lyric has been around for ages. It seems that reminding us single people that we may as well kill ourselves is not only timeless, it's popular.

"There must be lots of nobodies out there. But how do we find each other? It's not like we go around advertising: 'Hey, I'm nobody. Want to talk to me?'"

The Cassandra Chronicles, by Ariel Leve is published next month by Portobello Books.

- Anna Coogan