It's a truth often acknowledged that we Irish are a tad fond of the old fake tan.

Unusually in Dublin, there's no north/south divide either: the Yummy Drummies of the south county are as unnaturally bronzed as their northside cousins, and God knows, the majority of them really need to tone it down a notch or five. Okay, make that 10.

It's fair to say, then, that we're particularly guilty in this country of laying it on a bit thick, and I'm not talking about our story telling abilities. In a way, you can't blame us: we live in a fairly miserable climate, we haven't had a decent summer in years, and a wan complexion can be instantly -- and relatively cheaply -- fixed with a bit of sunless tanner.

While it's a fact that everyone looks healthy with some colour on their face, we tend to go to extremes. So is there anything we do right with regards to tanning? Surprisingly, yes. If you're not getting your glow via the more natural approach -- the sun -- then you're not getting damage from UV rays that age skin and can cause cancers. But that's not to say we're out of the woods: our fondness for the brown stuff has thrown up a whole heap of other problems, and St Tropez's tanning guru, Nichola Joss, is just the woman to sort them out.

ER, HOW DO I KNOW WHICH PRODUCT TYPE IS RIGHT FOR ME?

It's understandable to be nervous, after all, we've all seen our fair share of bad, bad fluorescent tans.

"Novices should really start off with a gradual tanner such as St Tropez Everyday, as it has less DHA (the tanning agent) in it, so there's less chance of making mistakes," Joss advises.

Once you've built a bit of confidence with application, check out higher-strength spray or atomiser versions.

"This is what I use," she enthuses, "and I find them absolutely brilliant, and so quick. You can just spray and go."

TAN ALWAYS CRACKS AND STREAKS ON MY DRY SKIN: WHAT TO TO?

Preparation is key, for all skin types. "Tanning is like cooking -- it's all about using the right ingredients and following the recipe," Joss reveals. So, what's the method? Prep work is your friend and to get the optimum at-home result, you need to start a programme of improvement.

Step one is to exfoliate in-shower, and moisturise well afterwards. If skin is particularly flaky, do this for a few days before you even think of applying your self-tanning product. It's a great idea to do this before a salon spray tan, too.

I'VE PREPPED AND PRIMPED SO WHY ISN'T MY TAN EVEN?

"Oil-based moisturisers are often the culprit here," says Joss, adding "they can absorb at different rates, giving you a streaky, uneven effect." The other thing that can often cause an uneven finish is how you apply the product.

"Don't massage it in," she warns. "You should lightly blend with a foam mitt to ensure it's evenly spread, but that's all." Watch what you wear after your apply your tanner too -- dark, loose-fitting clothes are ideal, so you don't end up with attractive seam marks from jeans or tight skirts or trousers.

YIKES! I HAVE HIDEOUS HEELS!

"No one naturally tans here," Joss declares. A dirty Achilles tendon is like a flashing beacon that you've been dabbling with the DHA. So, when you've given your feet the once-over, wipe heels, toes and the sides of each foot with a babywipe, and blend out the colour on the top of the feet for a natural look.

HOW DO I STOP IT GETTING ON MY HANDS?

Brown palms and dirty knuckles are the biggest giveaway that you've been faking it. "Wear gloves," insists Joss. Make sure that you buy latex though: the baggy plastic variety that come with home hair-colouring kits will not pass muster. But surely that'll lead to stark white hands with a nice cut-off at the wrists?

Joss smiles and reveals her party trick: "Place the backs of your clean hands on the sides of your bum and press lightly -- that's all you need for a transfer of colour that'll look natural."

URGH! I HAVE SLUG-BROWS! WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Ah, the dreaded orange eyebrow. Caused by wiping facial self-tanner over the brows, they act as a sponge, and you'll find, to your horror, that they develop a life of their own once the tanner comes up.

Take a couple of steps to ensure it doesn't happen. "Use a little Vaseline on them before you apply the tan," advises Joss, or you can make amends afterwards too.

"Use a babywipe," she says, "and rub it through, going against the hair." That should be enough to ensure all traces are removed.

MY COLOUR IS FLAT AND LIFELESS. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Finishing your tan is essential if you want it to look realistic and three-dimensional The sun doesn't hit the insides of the arms, so this is a spot you need to pay attention to.

"From hand to armpit wipe away excess product with a babywipe, and then blend using a mitt," she instructs.

If you used bare hands to apply your tan, now is the time to ensure all traces are removed, and you should also run a wipe over your bellybutton, ears and hairline, if you also used product on your face.

TEN TO TRY

.1 BEST FOR LEGS St Tropez Everyday Perfect Legs, €45, at pharmacies and department stores, is a duo-product designed specially for legs -- one side gradually tans, the other adds an immediate glow.

2. BEST INNOVATION Piz Buin's Sun Dial Tan, €22.99, includes a dial which can be used to decide the intensity of colour. Clever!

3. BEST SPRAY TAN Model Co Tan Airbrush in a Can is beloved of the supermodels (or so the blurb goes) and can be gotten at Arnotts and Clerys for €35.

4. BEST NATURAL OPTION Containing organic extracts, Vani-T's idiot-proof Liquid Sun Tanning Gloves, €27.95, are great for bunglers or anyone in a hurry. At Arnotts.

5. BEST BUDGET DAILY TANNER Reformulated and now nowhere near as stinky or streaky as it used to be, Johnson's Holiday Skin is a mere €7.49, and it's available everywhere, too.

6. BEST NEW LAUNCH It's just landed on our shores, and despite uninspiring packaging, promises great things. Au Courant Instant Sunless Tanning Spray, €28.75, can be bought online at www.aucourant.ie.

7. BEST MULTI-TASKER Estee Lauder's Bronze Goddess Radiant Perfection Firming Body Creme, €37, adds a gentle hint of colour along with firming and hydrating benefits. At department stores.

8. BEST ORGANIC TAN Lavera's Self-Tanning Lotion, €13.37, is a bargain price and kind to skin. Buy from health food shops or from www.evenone.com.

9. BEST FOR IRISH SKINTONES Check out Fake Bake Fair, €34.95, designed specially for pale Celtic skintypes. At salons and department stores.

10. BEST WASH-OFF BRONZER Ideal for commitment-phobes, 17's Self Tan Instant Glow Skin Bronzer, €6.59, delivers a wash-off shot of colour, with no developing time needed. At Boots.

GETTING A FACE TAN

Oh okay, I'm teasing you with all these body tanning options, so here are three designed specially for the face -- body formulations can clog pores and cause spots, so avoid using them on delicate facial skin.

Lancome's Flash Bronzer is one of their hero products and they've now given it anti-ageing benefits for summer 09. €50, at pharmacies and department stores.

Perfect for your handbag is ArtDeco's little Self Tanning Face Bronzer, €21.55, which provides an instant shot of pick- me-up colour.

Or check out No7's cute Gel Bronzer, €17.50. With SPF15, it delivers an immediate and lovely glow with no developing time necessary.

- Kirstie McDermott