Get the perfect bottom
New treatments to enhance our bottoms are on the rise. Alice Hart-Davis reveals how to stop things going pear-shaped and achieve a perfect derriere
THE POPULARITY of a raft of new treatments shows that Irish women are falling in love with bigger behinds.
I don’t know about you, but my backside is something I try my best not to think about, although that habitual question, “Does my bum look big in this?”, is always lurking in my mind whenever I encounter a full-length mirror.
Sod’s Law of Female Thermodynamics decrees that if I indulge in refined carbohydrates, my bottom immediately gets bigger (though my bust, strangely, never does).
Sound depressingly familiar? Take heart — a bigger butt might not be such a bad thing. Enter the Miami Thong Lift, a recently pioneered plastic surgery procedure. Surprisingly, the Miami Thong Lift turns out to involve not bottom reduction but augmentation, to offer a more shapely rear.
What a turn-up for the books. For years, we’ve been a nation obsessed with boobs. Blame lad mags, blame the “Hello boys” Wonderbra ads, whatever, but as a beauty writer, my inbox has been full of treatments and potions to firm, lift, shape and otherwise enhance breasts. Now it’s time to reconsider and put the focus back on the ample backside, the seat of femininity: the bottom.
The fact that we’re talking about this thong lift is remarkable. It is usually a sighting of Jennifer Lopez or Beyonce on a red carpet in a tight dress that provokes talk of why the more pronounced bottom is a beautiful thing, but this year it is Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks whose ample curves are the focus of attention.
“There has always been a cultural divide between Western Europe and Latin America in which, in relation to bottoms, size matters,” says London-based consultant plastic surgeon, Rajiv Grover.
“The biological reason for certain features being attractive relates to our brains being hardwired to be attracted to individuals who are likely to be healthy and fertile.
“Beauty is perceived when harmony of the body exists with balance between hips and chest. The average bust size in Latin America is 36D compared to 36C in Western Europe so a larger bottom would intrinsically look better for some women.”
So what is the perfect backside?
That rather depends who you ask. Most Irish women wish for less padding rather than more, but as any honest, straight man will tell you, there’s nothing attractive about a bottom that’s too small or bony (hear that, all you size-zero wannabes).
A good-shaped bum is what’s desirable; something pert and curvy, with what my young son calls “bungence”, firm but a touch squidgy.
Pilates teacher Eva Berg, of The Secret (www.the-secret.biz) is responsible for honing and toning the bottoms of women Dublinwide.
Women from their teens to their 60s attend her popular classes and they all have remarkably pert derrieres, age irrespective.
“Women don't want a boyish silhouette anymore. They want a high, firm, defined bottom,” says Eva. “I've just brought in new equipment from LA and the response has been astronomical.”
The Ailesbury Clinic, in Dublin 4, is another name in the little black books of those in the know. The clinic offers SmartLipo, a minimally invasive laser that destroys fat cells (priced at €2,500 for the first area and €1,500 for the second area) and Vaser, which uses ultrasound to shatter the fat cells beneath the skin.
Kym Byrne, a patient advisor at Comedico Clinic, sees an increasing number of women seeking bottom shaping. The clinic performed 40pc more bottom lifts in the last year.
“Women are embracing the fuller-figured look. Some of my patients reference celebrities such as Kim Kardashian and Jessica Biel, five years ago it would have been Kylie Minogue. We offer bottom lifting through liposuction, also known as the Brazilian Bum Lift.”
Kristi Kuudisiim, one of Ireland's wellknown models, admitted to undergoing the procedure. The surgeon who performed on the Estonian-born plus-size model used what is known as the feather-lift approach, which involves using special threads. It's a two-stage procedure. The threads are inserted into the buttocks and given a month to heal after which they are pulled tight and secured.
“I think, more than anything, it will stop it going south for a bit,” she said. “I feel it’s way firmer now. The key with these things is that if you can prevent stuff, hopefully it will stay in good shape.”
Before we lose our perspective, I’ll leave it to plastic surgeon, Rajiv Grover, to deliver the bottom line: “The perfect bottom is the one attached to the woman you are in love with.
Surely in 2010 nobody thinks a man finds a woman attractive because of one anatomical part?” Let’s hope he’s right.