How many friends do you have? Ten? Twenty? Or are you a real social animal who can claim more than 50 good mates?

If our Facebook pages are anything to go by, many of us have hundreds of friends. But how many would stand by you if your job, and your life came crashing around your ears?

According to a recent poll of 3,000 people in Britain, carried out by One Poll, the average person has just three true friends. They claimed to have 16 but, when questioned, realised most were really acquaintances.

The typical Briton loses touch with an average of 36 people over the years. Half claimed their busy lifestyle for the rift; and 40pc said they just drifted apart.

Dublin-based psychotherapist Gerry Hickey reckons the survey is a pretty accurate assessment of the state of friendship in Ireland, too.

"When people are younger, they have dozens of friends," he says. "But when it comes to the parapet, how many are there for them? Not very many, usually. And it may not be the person you thought was your friend.

"Some people can't cope in a crisis. They run. And the people you thought you could not depend on stand by you.

Choosy

"The older you get, the more choosy you are about who you are friendly with. Surviving friendships become much deeper than those you enjoyed early on.

"Having three to five real friends is a healthy state to be in," says Hickey. "Anybody who has three friends who are dependable, reliable, and can keep their confidence is a lucky person. Peer counselling is one of the best ways to survive."

Friendship, though, has to be worked on. Or so says Jill McGuire, of the dating website www.maybefriends.ie.

"Friendship is not something that just happens," she says. "It is something that you have to work on. And when things are going on in your life; things such as family, job and hobbies, it can be difficult to keep them up."

The dating site has been going for eight years now and Jill has noticed that members are using it to find same-sex friends, as well as for dating.

"That is happening more and more," she says. "It's when someone's friends are all in couples, and they have no one to go out socialising with on a Friday night. They end up with a whole new load of single friends."

Gemma Kenny (29)

Works in PR.

Facebook friends: 240.

Good friends: 10.

Friends to rely on: 3.

Gemma Kenny makes a point of keeping in contact with her friends.

"There are 10 that I see fairly regularly," she says. "I phone them, text, email and contact them on Facebook. I'd see them every week. Some of my friends, like old school friends I'd see once a month. I make a point of keeping up with college friends, who have gone in different directions. "We contact each other on facebook, and get together for a coffee.

"Most of my good friends are people I've met since college. I have a more mature relationship with them -- there's no messing.

"I have three friends that I can totally rely on. One is a cousin. Another, my best friend, was at school with me. We were in school together for six years, but didn't speak until sixth year. Now we are inseparable. I love her to bits!"

Mary Malone (43)

Writer, whose latest book, 'Never Tear us Apart' is just out with Poolbeg

Facebook friends: Doesn't use Facebook

Good friends: 10

Friends to rely on: 5

"I don't have a sister," says Mary . "And I think, if you don't have a sister you do make a bigger effort with your friends. I am very conscious of looking after my friendships. But I don't see it as hard work; it's a pleasure. "When things are going swimmingly in your life, you may feel you needn't bother to meet your friends every two weeks; but you really rely on your friends when your children are small, or when they have grown and you are sitting on your own. The rewards of friendship are huge.

"I've had most of my friends a very long time. One, who lives in Howth was at school with me. We were best friends when I lived in Dublin, and now I live in Cork we still maintain it. "I have three good friends who I worked with in Dublin when I was 18. We have 'airport days'. I fly to Dublin, and we sit in an airport hotel all day, chatting and drinking coffee; and four weeks later they will fly to Cork. I am close with 10 friends, but when it comes to confiding secrets I'm selective; I keep that for my five best friends."

HOW TO KEEP YOUR FRIENDS

(Advice from Gerry Hickey)

- Sue Leonard