herald

Saturday 25 October 2014

How many of us will keep our sordid skeletons in the closet?

GOD knows we all have our little fetishes -- and sure why wouldn't we? However, for the most part the odd little habits and sexual desires we embrace tend to remain private and only those closest to us ever get to find out about them.

So it was sad that, at the age of 72, David Carradine passed away in circumstances that will for ever more have people making wise ass remarks (he was found hanging by a rope in a wardrobe in his Bangkok hotel last week).

While certain exes have been forthcoming about his 'deviant' sexual tastes via press interviews, his immediate family have been quick to attempt to protect his reputation and legacy by asserting that he was "murdered by assassins from a martial arts sect because he was delving into their shadowy underworld activities."

You can see why they would do this. As incredible as the Carradine family's explanation sounds it is a basic ambition of most human beings to maintain dignity in both life and death.

The way in which both Carradine (famous for his role in Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill movies) and Inxs' front man Michael Hutchinson died will not afford their memory a satisfactory level of dignity.

Stephen Milligan, a UK parliamentary private secretary who died in 1994, is another case in point. He was found dead wearing stockings and suspenders with a bin bag over his head, an electric flex round his neck and an orange in his mouth.

It's fair to say that most of us do not have such dark sexual fantasies and are more mainstream in our tastes. But equally we all have the odd skeleton in our closet. And the closet is precisely where they get to stay. Even after we die.

At the end of the day Bill got to die by the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique, with his dignity in tact.

David, on the other hand, died half naked. No one as of yet knows which half was naked. And his body was found by the maid.

On the plus side, he has inadvertently done a lot to promote the fact that even people over 70 want to have sex. Even kinky sex. Now that's a legacy worth sticking your name to.

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