An emotional rollercoaster takes me from grieving to horny to lovelorn to absolutely furious.

Monday

AM. Still no reply from Eric re my script. Beginning to worry he's been in some kind of accident. To have him snatched from my life now would be torture. Can't concentrate on 'splurge vs spree' feature. Must do something constructive!

PM. Rang around major London hospitals to ask if Eric Deane had been admitted, but thankfully all have said no. Had a nice chat with one A&E receptionist who was also Ambulance! fan and became v concerned about Eric's welfare when I told her he hasn't been in touch. Managed to reassure her that if Eric did have an accident he would probably be able to assist the ambulance crew owing to his unique knowledge of paramedic procedures.

Tuesday

AM. Finally! Email from Eric to say that he's been turned down for new James Bond role and hasn't had a chance to look at my script as is feeling "so disappointed". Poor baby.

PM. Spent the afternoon composing heart-warming, inspiring email in the style of Chicken Soup books to help cheer Eric up. I shall now press 'send' and bask in the warm glow of knowing I have helped to guide another human being back onto the correct spiritual path (and also the hope that I get to shag him senseless in the near future).

Wednesday

AM. Tabloids have picked up on Eric's James Bond letdown. Other reports say that he had a minor accident over the weekend but was able to assist the ambulance crew thanks to his, quote, "unique knowledge of paramedic procedures". PM. No reply re Chicken Soup email.

Thursday

AM. Unbelievable! Heather says that, according to Eric's spotty assistant Rupert, he has landed rom-com role and is jetting off to Hollywood. Apparently, Eric has said he will be taking someone "very special" with him! Dare I dream?

PM. Heart ripped apart! Tabloids report that Eric is going to Hollywood with superbitch Serena who has left her husband and will transport her three kids and Pilates empire to the US. Rupert leaving too. Will seek out Heather for mutual female support.

Friday

AM. Spent last night in pub drowning sorrows with Heather. She said that apparently Eric is a control freak, lives on health shakes, never touches chocolate and likes to 'play' the media. Starting to think it never would have worked for us -- in fact, that I was led on. Will stop listening to Air Supply.

PM. Email from Eric to say thanks for the "uplifting message" but he won't be able to read my script as he's so busy preparing for Jennifer Aniston romcom. He also mentioned moving to Hollywood with Serena who is pregnant (!) and would OK! magazine be interested in covering the story?

Mailed back to tell him that I don't work for OK! and even if I did, I still wouldn't be interested in doing a trite story with cheesy pics of him and Serena in bare feet, while he lovingly drapes his arm around her baby bump!