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Friday 24 October 2014

Ask Rosanna: Should cheat get benefit of the doubt?

Q After a lot of soul searching I decided to forgive my boyfriend for cheating on me and accepted his apology and his reassurance that he'd never betray me and let me down again.

I believe my boyfriend when he says he made a mistake, but the problem is they don't. My parents and friends say that once a cheat always a cheat, and that if I let him get away with it once he'll do it again. I'm torn between the man I love and the people I hold dearest in life.

A I am a firm believer that people deserve a second chance in many situations. Mistakes can happen and very few of us are completely immune to temptation given the right circumstances or under the influence of alcohol. Your boyfriend has made a grave mistake, but is obviously deeply sorry for what happened and he's extremely lucky that you finally agreed to take him back.

If I were you, I would definitely give him the benefit of the doubt and believe him when he says that he will never make such an error again. I would advise you to make it absolutely clear to him, however, that you're no pushover and that any slip-ups again will not be tolerated. I understand that your friends and family care about you and worry that you'll be hurt again, but this is a choice you must make for yourself based on your own intuition.

Q I've the complete opposite problem to Jennifer Aniston, who looks like she might have a problem wearing her rock of an engagement ring, so big and heavy on her tiny finger. It's my engagement ring, which is titchy and my finger, which is on the chubby side.

I'm mad about my fiance and was delighted when he proposed, but I wonder what it says about our future together that he didn't see fit to invest some money in a decent-sized diamond for me. He has no problem spending money on himself.

My mum made fun of it and asked for a torch when I flashed my ring, and my friends made similar remarks about the ring's tiny size. Size does really matter when it comes to rings, so how can I get him to admit that he was mean and buy me a more impressive sparkler?

A First, congratulations on your engagement! Us girls may dream about the giant sparkler we'd like to receive from our other halves, but in reality an engagement ring simply represents his intent to be with you for ever. It should not be viewed as a status symbol. Don't compare yourself to people in the public eye, as they will always sport bigger and better bling.

Your fiance decided that a delicate ring would suit you better and thought you would love it. It seems unfair and inappropriate for your friends and family to make rude remarks. My advice is to say nothing as you risk causing offence, and instead focus on this exciting period of your life.

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