Out and about!: 19/11/2009
Looking at the ageing man in the mirror brings home a few uncomfortable truths for Fearghus de Mórdha
Thursday November 19 2009
MOST OF US SPEND some time looking in the mirror in the mornings, while brushing our teeth, fixing our hair or shaving. There is a moment of realisation when the focus of the attention changes from the toothpaste or the shaving foam to your face.
It is a glance that tells you a few uncomfortable truths when you hit your mid-30s. It’s the moment when you can see the impact of time. Your hairline is receding and thinning. The wrinkles and bags under your eyes aren’t bouncing back any more. The pinnacle of your youth has passed.
How people react to the ageing process, especially in the homo community is curious. Many spend long years, if not decades, in denial — and there are always stereotypes.
Firstly, there is the ‘Peter Pan crew’ who are still partying like they are 18; the realisation that they are a couple of tonnes heavier and shouldn’t be wearing skinny jeans and string vests anywhere but in the privacy of their own home hasn’t appeared to dawn just yet.
Then, there are those who have aged gracefully enough but are still grimly hanging on to their youth vicariously by having a long series of toyboys at hand.
Finally, on the generalisations front, there are those who have gone too far on ‘maintenance’, with cheekbones that are almost hiked up to their temples, they bear more of a resemblance to a Persian cat than a middle-aged man.
As I glance in the mirror some mornings, I live in fear of becoming one of these stereotypes. But as I stare at the ageing face in front of me, I hold on to the idea of a homo icon such as Audrey Hepburn — my role model for ageing gracefully.
fearghusdemordha@yahoo.com
- Fearghus de Mórdha
