7 days in the life of: Jedward
Thursday November 26 2009
We’re gone from The X Factor but you’ll soon see us, like, everywhere.
Sunday: Getting voted off The X Factor and our mate Olly going through to the next show was, like, OMG,amazing/devastating. We totally can’t decide which.
Monday: Louis says Mary McAleese wants to do a ‘Welcome back Jedward!’ party for us in, like, the Áras.
Tuesday: Louis is busy sorting through all the opportunities that are out there waiting for us. He’s even saying that, like, we could be celebrity judges on The All Ireland Talent Show.
Wednesday: Bertie Ahern wants us to launch his next buke. He says this one’s a paranormal romance, where an angel becomes Taoiseach and saves the country from economic meltdown. We’re so there — sounds like the next Twilight.
Thursday: We’ve been offered a publishing deal! They’ll give us €3 million for our autobiography, but Louis says he can get us more if we say that Simon wounded us when he called us “vile little creatures”.
Friday: Had a quiet day, just doing interviews with OK!, Hello! Heat and VIP. We said we’re both actually single at the moment but we’re just, like, concentrating on our music right now.
Saturday: We’re afraid we won’t totally saturate the UK market because of our Irish accents. This is why we’ve decided to speak like Spencer from The Hills. Or maybe this is just, like, how everyone our age talks...
Or this is how it would be if we were Jedward...
