No matter what you say or how many times you swear Ronan, you can't do edgy
RONAN Keating is on the cover of Australian GQ magazine this month.
And, if you look hard enough, you might just see his name, buried at the bottom in small print, beside a story about how to build your own boat.
Much of the interview reads like standard Ronan stock these days, as he reflects on his times with Boyzone, his difficult past few years, how he's a changed man, and his desire to be taken seriously as an actor.
"We said and did a lot of silly things," said Ronan of his boyband years, a confession which proves that contrary to his claims, he hasn't learned much in the intervening time.
Because in stating his desire to be the new Sean Penn -- "he's the kind of meaty, solid, honest actor I'd like to be" -- Ronan once again falls into the trap of thinking that he can be "edgy", a desire which seems to be re-inforced by the incessant, insufferable insistence on confessing that he "f**ked up", a term he seems to choose because he thinks it makes him sound, well, 'edgy'.
But while Ronan's self-pity and acting ambitions are nothing new, his ruminations on his time in Boyzone are. Because rather than getting down on his hands and knees every day and thanking Louis Walsh for turning five average singers into multi-millionaire, household names, Ronan displays an almost comical lack of self-awareness, revealing how the five warblers were bitter about the lack of respect they got from the music industry.
"Deep down we craved credibility," says Ronan, presumably with a straight face.
"We'd go to awards shows where Bono and Damon Albarn from Blur would get plaudits, and we'd sit there fuming."
Louis Walsh once cheekily described Ronan as Ireland's equivalent to Cliff Richard, and Ronan's attempts to make himself look 'hard' in the intervening time have done little to assuage the belief that Louis got it spot on.
Because try as he may, and curse as much as he wants, Ronan is never going to be 'edgy' like Damon Albarn or Sean Penn. You'd have thought that Ronan would have learned two things by now -- to be smart enough to know your place in life, and be grateful for what you have.
And right now, Ronan's place is the eleventh most important feature in an issue of an Australian magazine, behind an article about building your own boat.
Which should tell him a lot..