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Saturday 3 December 2016

30 fashion trends that should come back to Dublin…

Shane 'The Mullet' Byrne
Shane 'The Mullet' Byrne
Chandler Bing and his vest sweater
FARRAH FAWCETT
Musician Fred Durst attends the 2014 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena
Billy Ray Cyrus
David Beckham
Gareth Gates
Jared Leo in tie-dye

The hipsters rule the earth. It’s getting to a stage, too, where we’re all starting to look the same. Even the term ‘hipster’ is beginning to lose its meaning – and make no mistake, those crazy cats with their bushy beards and drainpipe trousers have their limits.

Oversized check shirts, chukka boots, skinny stretch jeans – they’re awesome and all, but wouldn’t it be fun if more of us started to really think outside the box when it comes to getting dressed in the morning?

You know, dig deeper into the vault and bring back the bootcut jeans-and-loafers look? It’d be hilarious. Actually, the Irish are still quite fond of the auld boot-cut jeans (seriously, there’s always a shelf or two reserved for ‘em at your nearest fashion outlet).

Yep, it’s time we started to do things differently. Bring back the crisp Don Johnson suits, with the pink T-shirts and sleeves rolled up.

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Miami Vice

Grow your hair out. Make like it’s the 1970s all over again and ditch the straighteners. Go all 90s nostalgia on your mates and wear all the colours– the baggier, the better. Strap on your old waist pouch. Embrace the tracksuit jacket. Heck, go mad and don a pair of white socks! And don’t mind what anyone else says – Timberland boots will always be cool. Indeed, these are the forgotten fashion trends we’d be only too happy to welcome back into our lives…

1. The Mullet

We’ll start as we mean to go on. Honestly, there have been worse hairstyles throughout history.

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Shane Byrne: The mullet, the legend

That Shane Byrne chap has had the right idea for years…

2. Sweater Vests

Didn’t Justin Timberlake almost bring the awesome sleeveless jumper back in 2006?

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Chandler Bing modelling the sweater vest

Dude wore it well. The rest of us looked like Chandler Bing. We need to try that one again.

3. Oversized Belt Buckles

Tuck in the shirt so that the emphasis is all on that glorious, shiny (fake gold) buckle. It’d be hotter, too, if the buckle says something cool, like ‘Wrangler’.

4. High-Waisted Levi’s

Another one that went out with Friends…

5. Giant 1970s Hair

Yeah, so we’re gonna be skipping back and forth throughout the decades here, but let’s get one thing straight: the Farrah Fawcett do is unbeatable.

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Farrah Fawcett

6. Dungarees

We don’t want to have to join a bluegrass band, though. Always wear an extra-large white T-shirt underneath. Now, undo one of the straps. Sorted. You look deadly.

7. Novelty Band Patches

Kids these days don’t know what being a ‘fan’ is. Buy the album cover patch, learn how to sew (or, just grab a stapler) and go totally DIY on your backpack / blazer (a skinny tie might go well with the latter). We really, really miss our rock ‘n’ roll patches and badges…

8. Parachute Pants

MC Hammer was ahead of his time. He was just misunderstood, is all. Also, cycling shorts - even if you don’t own a bicycle. Complete the look with a trendy (multi-coloured) head band.

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You can't touch him: MC Hammer

9. Padded Formal Shirts

Could save us hours at the gym, this one. Or, at the very least, keep us warm.

10. Y-Fronts

More support, like.

11. Curtains

As in, the hairstyle David Beckham flaunted when he was just a wee lad at Man United.

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David Beckham

Or, you know, the classic Nicky Byrne cut. How cool was that?

12. Brylcreem

The proper stuff.

13. The Spiky Do

Or, what we like to call the ‘Gareth Gates Special’.

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Gareth Gates

The former Pop Idol hopeful inspired a nation of teenage boys to spend that little bit longer on their gruaig before stepping out. This is where the Brylcreem might come in handy. What a style.

14. Bleach-Blonde Hair

To go with the spikes. But just on the tips.

15. Bell-Bottoms

We’ve been told they were sexy. And that’s a fact.

16. Shell Suits

Colour-wise, the more outrageous, the better. Now, grab your boom box and head straight to the nearest car park. We’re about to have ourselves a dance-off.

17. Proper Collars 

Go ‘way with your trendy ‘granddad’ tops. We need to bring back the Harry Hill collar. It’d go well with our sweater vests. Also, cardigans.

18. Moustaches

Not just for one month near Christmas. And none of this pencil, upper-lip fuzz nonsense. We’re talking about a proper Tom Selleck here – all year round.

19. Tie Dye T-Shirts

All the colours of the rainbow, just in time for the summer.

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The tie dye king Jared Leto  

20. Polo Necks

Maybe wait until the winter…

21. Three-Quarter Length Shorts

Again, of the DIY variety. Grab a pair of old baggy jeans and go crazy with a scissors. It’s the way Avril Lavigne and Blink-182 used to do it.

22. Baggy Jeans

Dark blue, with giant pockets all over. Best worn with Converse. Bonus point if you attach a silver wallet chain to the belt loops. Oh, and maybe dig out that oversized jumper you used to live in – the one with holes on the sleeves (to stick your thumbs through). Perfect.

23. Cords

Some guys still wear these. With their shirts tucked in, we might add…

24. Studded Belts

These used to make us feel like we were rock stars. They have to come back.

25. Eyebrow Piercings

The ultimate bad-boy statement.

26. Baby-G Watches

Or, those giant Casio calculator computer yokes we used to attach to our wrists.

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The Baby-G watch

 To hell with your fancy iWatch – these were the real deal.

27. Double Denim

We might as well stick on our old B*Witched albums, too. Hey, it was good enough for JT and Britney…

28. Army Jackets

These were all the rage around Central Bank when we were kids. Maybe they still are. You know, the jackets with the German flag on the sleeves? It’s been a while…

29. The Trilby

And, while we’re on the subject of head gear, bring back the fedora (there’s a difference), the top hat (for the vertically challenged), the New York Yankees cap (yes, we just jumped forward a few decades) and the bucket hat (I know, I know).

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Fred Durst

 Tip: Always wear the Yankee cap backwards. Like Fred Durst.

30. Trouser Braces

Do the hipsters already have this one covered?

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